Perhaps He's Genetically Predisposed To Cheating

So he's been caught cheating. He's joined the not so elite club of roughly 60% of all married men.

But when he says 'I couldn't help myself', do you think maybe he's RIGHT? In order to answer that question, you have to look at his family history. Did his father or mother cheat? Do his siblings cheat? Has he asked family members to act as alibis while he did the deed, and they AGREED?

This is also a question of upbringing. Naturally, if he was exposed to extramarital affairs in childhood, most notably repeat offenses, he will have the subconscious notion that it is somehow 'OK' and 'sorry' fixes everything. He has likely learned the skill of deception very early if life.

Another possibility, of course, a parent who has had several children by different partners. Abandonment issues could also play a role in paving the way for future cheats.

There is no denying that each individual person is responsible ultimately for his behaviour as an adult. He may place siblings above marriage and children in these circumstances because brothers (and sometimes even sisters) will help him cover his tracks.

Is this an excuse? No. Absolutely not because it is NEVER ok to cheat. If he is looking to really leave his marriage, he will have someone already in place to run to as soon as he is out the door. He also has major issues with being alone. He is frightened by the prospect of only having himself to rely upon for everything. Basically he is a frightened child.

If we never hold people accountable for their actions, they will never learn and they will never be motivated to modify their behaviours. He should be forced to live alone. He would learn to be self-reliant and a whole new respect for family, because he would not be able to take them for granted during his time of 'quiet reflection'.

I am all for solitary confinement for cheaters. Being left alone with their choices to ponder would be an effective therapy.